The Epidemic of Ego: Leadership 101
Sorry folks! Full time work and grad school are no joke! But I have written something that I hope will be a conversation starter amongst leadership in schools (read: light a fire).
This piece is not as *spicy* as a few other pieces I have written, but my gut is telling me that I need to be more solution-based sometimes. My hope is that this piece can get to some leaders in our school communities in order to bring these conversations to the table but more importantly set them into action.
Person of Focus: Alicia Fajohn
We tend to scrutinize leaders and their inabilities, rather than what they are actively doing that is working, right? I am guilty of this (my bitter tone towards admin should suggest as much), but I have recently started working with a leader who single-handedly impacts the landscape of a school. Even amidst conundrums, grief, and the daily goings on in an ECE through 8th grade school, she somehow remains steady. I sat down with her to ask a few questions about what makes a good leader, and ironically, my first question was going to be about diagnosing the ills of leadership in schools and what to do about it. But our conversation turned into more of an “I notice you do so many things right” type of exchange. I could feel the resentment lifting off of my shoulders (not fully because oof, bad admin can really leave a mark) but with the ice thawing out, I felt I needed to share what a good leader looks like in a modern school system. So in this piece, I am focusing on Alicia Fajohn, Assistant Head of School at The Montessori Academy of Colorado, former Principal of Asbury Elementary, and teacher of two-month-olds all the way through 5th grade for years prior to joining administration.
*I’d like to point out that the above picture was taken just after we all did a little song and dance for an assembly to “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” Note #1: Admin, join in on the fun.*
The biggest takeaway for me within this hour-long interview was that leadership is all about humans. If one is not focused on the human they are leading, but more on the actions of that human, then we already need to course correct. The word that comes to my mind first and foremost when thinking about adults in school buildings is ego. Anyone who knows me knows how adamant I am that the kids are not what is burning teachers out. It has never been the kids. They are WHY we get into this profession, but then add the egos of hundreds of adults (including policymakers and non-educators) and the focus comes off of the children and onto the loudest opinion in the room. So how do we begin to solve the epidemic of ego in our schools?
For starters, Alicia hit me with, “Leadership is HIGHLY personal, so leaders must make space for the shared experiences of their staff so they know how their staff shows up. You can’t coach a human unless you know how they respond in the moment, you can then coach the moment.” I felt like I had my own personal keynote speaker sharing the wisdom that the world needs to hear right in front of me. It has become clear to me that we, as a society, have long forgotten the absolute tumult of our school days growing up and how desperately we craved to have adults in our lives who just listened to us. Read: Adults, let’s be quiet for a bit. I am actively holding back some tone here as you can tell. If we are in the business of humans, then we must understand that power is a construct (soapbox here we come) and none of us, including school leaders and district officials, have any control over another or have a better opinion than another simply because of a title. Humility needs to come from the top, down. Educators cannot continue to be responsible for what the egos of their leaders leave on fire. We have enough on our plates and don’t have big enough fire extinguishers.
Many of you may not be familiar with how coaching works in school systems. Every administrator has a legion of educators underneath them that they observe (these observers in larger schools are usually fellow teachers) and then provide feedback a few times throughout the year. At large public high schools, for instance, you may get observed three times a year. You have three chances to “prove” yourself to your observer and you then get scored on a scale that varies district by district. For me, it was a scale of 1 to 7, in eight different categories, all averaging your scores at the end of the year to make you Not Meeting, Approaching, Effective, or Distinguished. Below is the Denver Public Schools model called LEAP. Add 35 students to one teacher in a class. You know what, make it Halloween day during the period after lunch. GO!
I am overwhelmed by the image above, but I learned to focus on my four classroom walls and the students sitting in front of me. This chart was made by folks who haven’t taught in years (okay I had to say one very bitter thing!) so I take this chart with a grain of salt. I wanted to do an excellent job for my students, not to be excellent by the standards of one million indicators.
With this system, leaders/observers tend to stick to the words on the page and coach according to a document. Alicia flips that on its head. “My job is to make teachers feel like they are the best in biz. I coach the person first and then the teaching feedback comes naturally from there.” I have heard Alicia check in with her teachers consistently about how they are doing personally, talking about their weekends and what emotional state they are showing up to school in. She starts off with “What might be some ways ______” when asking teachers questions about their practices instead of starting off with “Have you tried…?” because we all know teachers have tried x,y,z. I have heard her ask:
How is this year going for you?
What can I do to make sure you feel supported this year?
What are you working on?
Where are you seeing success?
How can I help you accomplish that?
Is there anything I can say or do (when people are struggling)?
How are you taking care of yourself?
Alicia thinks teachers are geniuses. That is where the difference lies between her and other leaders. Parents don’t believe that (not really anyway…) and I have never heard an administrator call teachers geniuses before. When you instill confidence in your staff, they will rise to the occasion and go well beyond what they have previously believed to be possible. Confidence works wonders for an educator. Self-fulfilling prophecy y’all.
When we talk about humanness, we also must remember that administrations are *drum roll please* humans as well. Leaders need to do the self-work every day like educators are asked to do. It is imperative to also have clear boundaries and to take care of one’s head and heart as a leader. “If you don’t have enough self-awareness to keep yourself in check, you will not show up in the right ways for your community.” Preach. She talked about how to compartmentalize when your personal life gets in the way of you showing up professionally. “You need a tight-knit group of school leaders that maintains accountability, must set clear boundaries with your staff, and the airplane mask theory is the golden rule. To help others, you must be healthy yourself.”
Quick action steps that Alicia laid out:
Make yourself available for coaching.
Open up your staff to vulnerability, that is modeled top-down.
Give your staff scenarios where they put themselves into the shoes of a student. How long does it take for them to get to school? What is home like for them? Do they have a quiet space to read or do homework? Are both of their parents working?
For teachers: understand what KIND of leader your leader is. Be reflective about how they lead, so you can figure out what you need and how they will provide it. (Realistic expectations.)
For leaders: Understand where your staff is coming from with leadership and how many leaders they have had. You must give your teachers confidence in themselves and positive dialogue around advocacy. Side note: I had six Assistant Principals in five years. Only two felt like they understood that we are in the business of humans.
Some leaders are way more logistically minded, which is excellent when emails are piling, school policies need to be enacted or large events are coming down the pipeline. Some leaders are way more relational and may lack the logistical approach. It is difficult to get that balance down, and we need to know what lane our leaders are in so we can have those realistic expectations, and provide constructive feedback about their approach.
The kids are who matter. How can we, as adults, support their growth as we let our egos fly into the wind? Who is on your local school board and when are elections? I’ll make that one easy for Denver folks, click here.
Is the leader of your kid’s school doing a solid job of supporting students and staff? What do you need, as an educator, from your leader? My hope is that we are asking ourselves and our communities these questions as education in this nation is in utter peril. Want to know how this generation is fairing in school? Inquire. Be curious. PLEASE.